True Freedom on the Fourth

Growing up in America means that on the Fourth of July we enjoy celebrating the day with fireworks, parades, parties, very creative displays of red, white, and blue food, and time to relax with friends.  I love all of those things, and have a collection of memories from years past of how we spent the day with many wonderful people.

But the word freedom makes me think of something much deeper, and really has nothing to do with the United States of America.  My most cherished thoughts of freedom are wrapped up in what Jesus Christ has done for me.  It  happened over 27 years ago, but I can still remember what it felt like to feel freedom from my sins for the first time. You can read a longer version of it here, but the short version is that I came to experience this: 

"For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." (Colossians 1:13, 14)

The idea of freedom must involve a rescue from something, a deliverance from some oppression, or danger. It is exactly why Jesus came to earth. He came to set captives free from a life of slavery to sin.  He is the one way out of that slavery. He offers that deliverance to everyone who will come to Him, putting all their hope in who He is and what He has done.

I am extremely thankful for the blessings of national freedom that we enjoy in our country. But the spiritual freedom that I have found in Jesus makes me pray that God will do something even more amazing in America than continue the legacy we have of national peace and prosperity.  I'm praying that He will set people free from their slavery to sin, deliver them from the spiritual death that sin brings, and that many will come to embrace Jesus Christ as the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE.  

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Remember that at 3AM!

        I saw a baby card once that said, “Children are a blessing from the Lord. ”  Underneath those words was a serene photo of a baby’s face.  But a little further down in parentheses were the words, “Remember that at 3 AM!”

       It made me laugh, but the reality that hit me when I saw that card was this:  God gives children to us as a gracious blessing, but difficult days can sometimes tempt us to forget who they are, and what God is doing.  In the challenging times, we may have to remind ourselves that what God says about children is still true.

Who they are…

       In Psalm 127, God Himself says that children are a gift, and you are blessed if you have them.

       Look into the eyes of your brand new baby boy and think what a uniquely designed gift he is. The world of boys is loud and rowdy, charged with energy, filled with sound effects of shooting guns and revving engines, busy with the victories and defeats of competition, the rampages of cowboys and Indians, and the roars of wild animal attacks! You are raising a little man, and you look ahead with anticipation to first steps, first words, and the opportunity to cultivate a special relationship with this son that God has placed into your family.

      But the crying at 3 am quickly yanks you back to the reality of the here and now! This is life. Woven together with the wonderful, joyous things, are challenging things, things that are tiring and unpleasant, things that we don’t always relish, especially after doing them over and over and over, and they are still to be done again.

But when you are overwhelmed and there’s another messy diaper to deal with...
or
... your boys are wrestling and fighting and your patience is wearing thin,
or
... it is 4:30 pm, no dinner has been planned, and you are exhausted from the constant care, training, and cleaning that your children required for the day, you can still say, “Yes, God is right. My children are a blessing from the Lord!”

      And of course, many trials have been experienced by parents down through the ages that make these examples seem trite and naïve.  But nothing, no matter how grave, can undo the truth of God’s word, that children are a blessing from the Lord.

  

How can I say that?

1.   Your children are a blessing from the Lord because they are made in His image. A living, breathing human being is the pinnacle of God’s amazing creative genius and power. The ability to think, reason, love, communicate, show compassion, kindness and even hate, are attributes that reflect the image of the One who made us.  When your gaze into the face of your baby, stand in awe of the great God who made him in His image.

2.    Your children are a blessing from the Lord because they are given by Him.  In the sovereign plan of God, He wisely wove together each child that He gives to you. With divine insight, He created this particular eternal soul, and placed him in your care. This baby is His gift to you, and He knows what He is doing. How humbling it is to realize that the Mighty Creator, who spoke worlds into existence, would stoop to give such a gift, a one-of-a-kind, uniquely, crafted-by-His-hand gift, to His children!

3.   Your children are a blessing because God is going to use them greatly for your sanctification.

There is a process of transformation set in motion at the moment you trust Christ to save you, and God will

complete it when you see Jesus face to face after this life is over. He intends to change you, and He is going

 to use your children to do it!  You are probably already aware, maybe painfully aware at times, as I am, that 

this is true!  Do you want to be like Christ? Well, here’s your chance!  It is called motherhood!  Oh, the sin 

your children are going to uncover that you were previously unaware of!!!  Oh, the character flaws that will 

surface as you deal with your children through the long and tiring days!!!  Oh, the anger and unkindness that 

will be revealed in your own heart when faced with ungrateful, rebellious children!  Stand back and say to 

yourself, “Thank you Lord, for my children!  Because I want to be like Christ, and my children are helping 

me get there, by showing me my sin, so I can repent and grow! 

So, children are a blessing. That is what God intends them to be as He gives them to you. Along with that truth, you may need to remind yourself on difficult days of the big picture of God’s great plan….

What God is doing…

              He is giving you the opportunity of a lifetime for Gospel work!              

       From their earliest days, your children are to receive love and care from you, and as they grow older, years of instruction from the Word of God, the Bible, through what you say to them and how you live.  Don’t get so caught up in the physical work of raising children that you forget that this is all a means to an end, not an end in itself!  Let it all be for the sake of your Savior. Love them toward the goal of leading them to the Lord Jesus Christ.  Build a relationship with them that is marked by unconditional love and trust so that you will have a platform from which to influence them for Christ.  That is what it is all about: being a light in the dark world to point others to Jesus and the salvation that is available in Him alone.  No other missionary opportunity can equal the opportunity you have as the mother of this child! In Psalm 78, Israel was commanded to pass along the knowledge of God to their children:

Psalm 78:5-7

 For He established a testimony in Jacob

And appointed a law in Israel,

Which He commanded our fathers

That they should teach them to their children,

That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born,

That they may arise and tell them to their children,

 That they should put their confidence in God

And not forget the works of God,

But keep His commandments…”

 This must continue in our own families, today.

It is really easy to lose sight of this in exhausting times, as you are busy with physical tasks that never end, and when you are confronted by resistance that wears you down.  It is easy to forget what God is doing and how he wants to let us participate in the process.  He is gathering a people from every tribe and tongue and nation, and redeeming them from their sin.  He wants to use you, right here, right now, in your own little family, with your specific children to bring more souls to worship and value and find salvation in the Lord Jesus.

Maybe you are thinking…..”Whoa! But I’m just an ordinary mom.  That is a high and lofty work, and I’m not adequate for such a task!”  At least that is what I think sometimes when I’m feeling overwhelmed about all that God has called me to do.

But I love what John Piper has to say about this in his book, Finally Alive:   He’s explaining the passage from 2 Cor. 4:7 that says, “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves.” God has entrusted the treasure of the Gospel of Christ to us, who are nothing more than clay pots, ordinary flawed human beings…

“God’s aim is that his own power through the gospel, not ours, be exalted.  This means that if you feel average or less than average in your sense of fitness to tell the gospel, then you are just the person God is looking for- a clay pot, who simply shares the treasure of the gospel, not the glitzy intellect, not the glitzy eloquence, not the glitzy beauty or strength or cultural cleverness.  Then God will do his work through the gospel, and the surpassing power will belong to Him and not us.

Be encouraged, ordinary Christian.  You are appointed, precisely in your ordinariness, for the greatest work in the world: opening the eyes of the blind and showing the Treasure of Christ.”

And do you know how this missionary work is going to look each day?  It is simply loving and caring for your children, building a relationship of trust and kindness that makes you a desirable authority in their lives, and letting the natural conversation of your days together (arising from both happy and hard times) lead you to talk of the Savior. It also means confessing your sins to God and your children, and asking forgiveness so that they see how a sinner lives by grace at the foot of the cross, and offers that same grace to others.

So when it’s 3 AM and the baby is screaming, remind yourself, “This child is a blessing, and God wants to use me to spread the glory of Jesus through the earth, starting right here in my own family!”

It is my prayer that these thoughts will encourage you through the busy days of caring for your children.

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Homeschooling FAQs

People often ask us questions about homeschooling, so with a new school year starting, I thought I would post some of the most common ones here...

Q: How do you decide whether or not it is God's will to homeschool your children?

A: First of all, determining whether you will homeschool is going to eventually come down simply to whether you want to do it or not. Homeschooling is a lot of work and is time consuming. It requires you to parent and discipline all day long. Some look at that and never try, others quickly give up. So, what would make a parent do something so crazy? In our case it simply comes down to two desires that outweigh the competing desires. First, we desire to be the primary influence in our children's lives by discipling them as much as possible. In short, someone is going to be with our children teaching them and influencing them throughout the bulk of their the day. It will either be teachers and peers, or us. We choose us. Second, we want to help our children to see and evaluate everything from a Christian worldview.

-Brian

Q: What are some of the benefits of homeschooling?

A: There are so many spiritual benefits to you that come along with homeschooling. Having your children around all day long is very sanctifying...and I'm listing that as a great positive. We truly want to be like Christ, right? I've found that He has used my children more toward that goal than marriage or trials or anything else.  Through my kids, the Lord has shown me sin that I never knew existed in my heart. And He has allowed this unveiling to drive me to pray for greater humility and dependence on Him. Trying to love children is such a great reminder of the unconditional, gracious love that we've been shown by the Lord. I have failed often, but am thankful that each day is a new opportunity to repent and ask forgiveness of my Lord and my kids. The cycle continues for good in the lives of your children, as they get to observe how a repentant sinner lives before the Lord and others. This day to day interaction has also helped me see my need to grow in unselfishness. It is always easy to do the most convenient, least stressful thing, and think of myself first. Homeschooling has really forced me to beg God for a tender, giving love for my children. -Myra

Q: How can I be sure that I would be able to do a good job teaching my children?

A: Everyone that sets out to homeschool their children lives with some degree of frustration and uncertainty; but whatever educational choice you make, that will be there because there is no perfect educational option.  I have felt anxiety over my skill at teaching a certain subject, over how to help specific children overcome their weaknesses and laziness, I've been distracted by other things that still need attention, and have struggled at times over just feeling overwhelmed. But God has met me at every turn with His grace and help and strength. One way he has done that is by providing curriculum, resources, and even other home educators to help, give input, and encourage us.

Being convinced of the great spiritual benefits to my children and me, I press on and keep praying for God to help me make progress in my weaknesses, and have wisdom to help my children with theirs. As the years have gone by, I can see that He has answered this prayer many times. We still have many children to go with only three graduated, and there are more lessons to be learned. But I know that God is faithful. As I've talked with many other moms that have chosen to send their children to school, the things that they are having to deal with, like immorality, drug use, ungodly peer influence all day long, anti-God agenda of the teachers and curriculum, and the lack of time to spend with their children in the Word-- I feel great hope for the struggles I'm facing each day. -Myra

Q: What has motivated you to keep homeschooling for so many years?

A: Homeschooling is an amazing opportunity for evangelism and discipleship. Above all else, this is what drives me on! When the Lord saved me 25 years ago, he put in my heart a desire for ministry. That's what took me to Guam on a short-term mission trip where I met Brian. And over the years of our marriage we have had many opportunities for ministry in the church. I've taught Bible studies and discipled women and loved it. But I have to say that the most rewarding and satisfying opportunity I've had is the evangelizing and discipling of my own children. And now the fruit of His word, as I've poured my life into my older children, is filling me with so much joy, that I can hardly describe it to you. My older children have become not only my close friends, but my sisters and brothers in Christ. Now they are encouraging me in my walk!! God desires to use you in the lives of your children. If He has chosen them, then He will ordain the means through which they will come. I want to be part of the means- a strong influence for the Gospel in their lives all day, every day that I can! Homeschooling affords a greater amount of time to build a relationship with your children for the sake of the Gospel. I'm so grateful for such an opportunity! -Myra

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How Did You Do That?

After observing the lives of some of my children once, someone said to me, “Your kids love the Lord.  How did you make them do that?”

The question almost made me laugh, because if I have learned anything over my years of motherhood, it is that God is the only one that can make children love Him.  He is the only one that can take someone with a sinful, unbelieving heart, transfer them from the kingdom of darkness into light, and awaken them to love, worship, and serve Jesus Christ. I am so thankful that He not only CAN do that, but He actually DELIGHTS to do that. 

So my answer to the question, “How did you do that?” is “I didn’t, but God can!” At the same time, I am aware that God’s normal way of saving people is through the influence and witness of average people, as they share the Gospel in love, and help other believers grow. It is not uncommon to hear testimonies of how God used parents in the salvation and growth of their children. Even though parents are sinners, too, and we have all failed in one way or another in this role of parenting, God is gracious, and He uses parents anyway.

When someone asks me a question like that, what they usually really mean is, “What can I do, and what should I be doing to impact my children for Christ? And how does God use godly parents to help their children know and love and live to serve Jesus Christ?” That was the question in my heart when I first started out with one little baby. Looking back now from the vantage point of having grown children, here’s what I would say to those questions…

Pray for change that results in love.  

The saving, sanctifying work of Christ in my life has impacted my children for good as it has produced a love that flows in at least three directions: love for Jesus Christ, love for my husband, and love for my children. 

On the day that Christ saved me there was an initial life transformation, but that has become a continuing transformation for many years now. God is so amazing in His power that He can take sinful, selfish, unworthy, and often unwilling people, transform them, and use them to carry out His amazing plans in the lives of others.  So, when God needed a mother to raise eight Shealy children, He could start with me. That way, in the end, He gets all the credit for any good that was produced in the lives of my kids, and as people see this, they should say, “Wow! Look what God can do!”

I. Love Jesus Christ

First, pray for change that results in love for Christ. It would seem obvious that if you want your children to love the Lord, they need to first see that modeled in your own life, but many Christian mothers miss this.  If loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength is your prayer, then you can be sure that there are things that must change for that to become a growing reality in your life. At the moment of your salvation, you were given the power to die to self and live to God. Moment by moment we need to keep making decisions that reflect that we belong to Jesus and are now living for His glory, not our own.

How does this look on a normal day? 

Fix your eyes on Jesus. What do you think of Jesus?  Is He your prize, your treasure, the One who gives you satisfaction, peace, stability, hope and joy? Hebrews 12:1-3 describes us as runners who are to run with our eyes fixed firmly on our prize…Jesus Christ Himself. He is our everything. The more you learn of Him, the more you will see Him as the loving, merciful Savior who has rescued you from your sin and is worthy of all your love and worship, obedience and service. This will change how you think, how you act, and what you say, even when your days of caring for little children are difficult. Life will be less about you and your circumstances, good or bad. More and more, it will be about living to bring glory to your Savior.  As we are transformed by the Gospel, we will be able to echo what John the Baptist said about Jesus, “He must increase, I must decrease.”

Be daily transformed by the Gospel. To live daily with my eyes fixed on Jesus has required daily repentance because I am proud and selfish. God has used my children in amazing ways to show me just how sinful I really am!!!  But the more I focus on Jesus, who He is and all He has done for me, it makes me want to turn away from my pride and selfishness.  The Gospel can and should make us humble and grateful. It reminds me that all I deserved was condemnation and wrath, but I have instead been granted forgiveness and the righteousness of Christ before a holy God.  This helps to kill my sinful, selfish “entitlement” mentality and have a right perspective.

Live for Him with hope and joy. The transformation that Christ has brought should change the demeanor of your life. You will be able to smile at the future, like the Proverbs 31 woman, because you are confident in God’s great power, and you belong to Him.  It will remind you that since you have Jesus, you need nothing else to be happy in this life and hopeful for the life to come.

You will be able to reflect a heart that can be unselfish and do the unseen, thankless, yet necessary, jobs that no one else wants to do, because you are doing it for Jesus. The more you learn of His power, wisdom, and goodness, the more your heart will reflect contentment, because you will know that He chooses what is best for you on any given day. The more you grow in love for Jesus Christ, the more you will want to live for what He says is important. You will want to be part of leading little ones to Him, and building His kingdom, starting with your own children as your greatest missionary opportunity.  

As you are daily transformed into this kind of woman who loves Jesus Christ, your children will have a living example of the power of the Gospel right before their eyes.  They will know what it means to follow Jesus, not just because of what you have said to them, but by how you have lived as they have watched.

II.   Love your Husband

Second, pray for change that results in love for your husband.  One way God intended for the Gospel to be preached to the world is through the vehicle of marriage. The transforming power of the Gospel is most conspicuously put on display when two sinners can live together in marriage and actually love each other.  The primary audience of this witness is the children who are produced by such a marriage. I believe that great damage has been done to the testimony of the Gospel by parents who tell their children to love Christ, but can’t show by their own marriage that their love for Christ empowered and motivated them to love each other.

Often people use Ephesians 5:22-33 as a how-to for having a happy marriage.  But don’t miss the fact that this chapter starts and ends with the Gospel. Verse 1 calls us to imitate God in the sacrificial love He has shown us in Christ, and at the end of the chapter, (after giving marriage as an example of a relationship where the Gospel should have an impact,) Paul says, “I am speaking with reference to Christ and the Church.”

In his book Gospel-Powered Parenting, William Farley powerfully makes this point:

“ …human marriage exists to preach the gospel.  It exists to illustrate the fruit that should follow the preaching of the gospel in the church. …What is our marriage telling them (our children) about Christ and his bride? They see it all. They hear our fights.  They absorb our attitudes. They know who or what really sits on the throne of our lives. They watch how we handle resentment.  They hear the way we talk to each other.  They know when we hear the Sunday sermon and apply it.  They also know when we ignore it. …The message that our marriage preaches either repels or attracts our children. God wants your child to watch your marriage and think, ‘I want a marriage like that, and I want the God that produced it.’ “

Marriage is the great overlooked tool for the evangelism of children. Once again the transforming power of the Gospel makes it possible for two sinners to love each other in this way in their marriage. When we sin and fail, the Gospel will draw us back to Christ for forgiveness, and will send us to each other in humility to confess our sins and be restored. Our children need to witness this process between their parents when there is sin and conflict, and it can have a great impact on their lives for Christ.

My children have mentioned little things that stood out to them that Brian and I did to show love to each other. When he would return home from work at the end of the day, everything would come screeching to a halt as I would run to the front door to get the first kiss and hug. Sometimes the kids would even engage me in a playful race, and laugh as I fought to be in Daddy’s arms first.  They noticed that we held hands in the front seat, or embraced as we took a walk together. One memorable quote from Lindsay, at about age 4 as she watched us show affection, was “keep up the good kissing!” It built security in their lives that we would go to so much trouble to get away for dates, and overnight trips on our anniversary. Sometimes our children would visit a home that had an air of underlying stress and conflict between the parents, and then they would come home and thank us for loving each other.

III. Love Your Children

Finally, pray for change that results in love for your children.

It is interesting to note that the one thing said to older women instructing younger women about parenting, in Titus 2:3-5, is simply “…encourage them to …love their children.” 

As I have grown in Christ, my list for why I should love my children has grown, too.

I must love them because:

1. God made them, and they are an amazing display of His creative power. (Psalm 139)

2. God loves them, and He shows grace to them whether they are saved or unsaved. (John 3:16)

3. God uses them for my sanctification. (Boy, does He ever!) (Romans 8:28)

4. God wants me to tell them about Him, and the great salvation He offers in Jesus. (Psalm 78, Matthew 28:18-20)

5. God has loved me, and saved me so that I would love others. (1 John 4)

How I should love my children is clearly outlined in the Scriptures, too.

Colossians 3:12-14 has been a foundational passage that God has used to teach me how to love my children over the years:

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”

Two character qualities from that list especially stand out and are emphasized also in 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient; love is kind.”

Be patient.

This sounds so simple, yet we all know that it isn’t always easy. Our own sinful desires would have us lash out when under all the provocations that happen in a day of caring for little (and big) kids. But 1 Cor. 13:4 teaches us that we must choose, especially at those provoking moments, to be patient. Patience is the restraining, passive side of love. It calls us to put up with the irritating actions of others, to endure them, to persevere and not give up on the offenders. Especially when they don’t deserve it, God calls you to demonstrate through your warm, welcoming, accepting demeanor toward your kids that you still love them.  And as you do this, pray and look for opportunities to tell your children that you do this because that is how Christ has loved you.  He has been patient with you. He has endured all the sin you committed against Him, loving and dying for you, even when you were His enemy! His patient treatment toward you should motivate you to extend that to others, especially to your children.

Striving to love patiently has opened up many opportunities to talk to my kids about the Gospel. In fact, the times that I have failed to do this have been used by the Lord too, as I have had to ask their forgiveness.

Be kind.

Kindness is the active side of love and goes beyond simply not returning evil to those provoking you. Instead it drives us to do tangible, practical deeds of love, especially when they are undeserved.  Discipline must be carried out, but even that can be done in a spirit of humility, compassion, and gentleness. And when you follow it with kindness, your children will get a message, loud and clear, that you haven’t given up on them. It extends restoration, and forgiveness, and will help to establish harmony in our homes. We must die to our desire to only love our children when they deserve it.  Jesus Christ daily lavishes your life with gifts of undeserved kindness. He took your punishment and instead gave you His righteous standing before a Holy God. And here we are back at the Gospel again.  Stay there. Live there, moment to moment with your children. Let the gracious, merciful love that Christ has shown to you transform you and flow out to your kids.  Then they will know that Jesus is alive, and that what He has done for you is real and life-transforming.

So, this is my story of how Christ has been working in my life over many years, but He isn't done by any means!  I’m asking God to continue the life transformation that He started on the day that He saved me so that I will “grow in grace and in the knowledge of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.”

I’m asking Him to make that transformation evident in the way I love Jesus Christ, live my life for Him, and find in Him my satisfaction, joy, hope, and purpose.

I’m asking Him to change me day by day so that I will love my husband, as a devoted, godly wife.

I’m asking the Lord to keep making me more like Christ so that I will love my children, as a humble, gracious mother.

And finally, I’m asking the Lord to keep using me in the lives of my children in the days and years to come for His glory.  He can do it!

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Worth it All

...That amazing moment of unspeakable joy when your grown children thank you for all the years you spent homeschooling them, giving them a happy childhood, and building a good relationship with them.

*deep, joyful sigh*

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Thoughts about Hospitality

Hospitality, at its heart, is reaching out and welcoming people into your life. That can be done in so many ways, and at many different times. We have had times where we invited another family over and all sat down to dinner together. I usually make something simple that feeds a lot of people for little money, like a crockpot of chili or soup, or a tray of chicken baked in the oven with bread and salad. Or if we have guests after church, we will run by Little Ceasar's and get some of their $5 pizzas.

But other times, I've had a friend stop by for an hour in the middle of the afternoon and served nothing but a glass of cold water. We were freed to just talk and pray briefly without the work of serving a meal or cleaning up afterward.

One great thing about having people over so much is that it has moved me past feeling like each meal has to be a big production. Some of our sweetest times of hospitality have been when someone came by that we didn't expect and we foraged the leftovers together, or threw together some grilled cheese sandwiches. People are not coming to see how a gourmet meal is prepared and served. They are coming to be loved by you, and you can do that by just offering whatever you have, though it is simple.

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Good Morning Summer!

Here we are with school over and the first Monday underway of our summer vacation! We took a road trip to my sister's home and are enjoying the fun of being with cousins, talking and catching up, doing fun projects together, and just breathing a huge contented sigh after a year of school work. Feels good!

I guess I'd better get back to the kitchen. The girls are making fresh orange juice from the oranges they picked from my sister's tree.

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Final Lap

Just one week of school left, and I am praying and working hard so that we finish well! God has been so gracious to us this year, and every year!

*When I think about all the spiritual conversations that the Lord allowed me to have with our children this year during the day when we were going about our school work, I am so grateful.
*When I think about the answered prayer concerning math facts and one particular child's progress, I am amazed.
*When I think about the spiritual fruit that is ripening in the lives of my children because God has chosen to change them with His word, I am so thankful.
*When I think about the fact that one child is conquering a subject that was very difficult, I am aware that God is helping her.
*When I think about how God has used my children greatly again this year to show me my need for constant dependence on Him, I am astounded by His perfect ways to make me more like Christ! *And when I think about how graciously God has forgiven and helped me in the ways that I failed this year, and still chose to let me be a light to my children, I am humbled, and filled with hope!

Well, to bed...and then on to the last Monday morning of the school year!

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Taking a Break

Whew!!! Though I find it hard to believe, we have made it to Spring Break once again! The time between the starting line back in Sept. and this milestone marker has flown by. We will have a week off from our studies, and enjoy some special day trips with Mr. Wonderful hopefully (if the weather improves).
This has really been an encouraging school year so far. I have seen some areas of progress in my children that have made me rejoice, and shown me that God is faithful to answer prayer. I am also enjoying the fruit that has come from requiring hard work of my children. It is so easy to feel like giving up on the things in homeschooling that are challenging, but to press on, depending on the Lord, and asking Him to help us, brings blessing.
I also cherish all the time that I get to enjoy with my children, and especially feel what a privilege that is with my teens. I can feel the clock ticking, and I know these fleeting years with all of them still at home will be over one day. I am seeing God's work in their hearts, causing them to love Him and driving them to even want to share their faith with others and for that I'm extremely grateful.

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Homeschooling With Babies and Toddlers

(This is our 15th year of homeschooling and we have always had toddlers and babies underfoot while our schooling was going on during the day. Since I am often asked about how to be Mom and Teacher at the same time, I thought I would post my answer here...)

Expect Interruptions:
If you have small children in your home, they will provide many distractions to your schooling. But remember that they still need you to be their Mommy and some interruptions are necessary and important. It is a mistake to constantly shoo them away to go play without specific direction, and to do so teaches them that what you're doing with the older children is more important than they are. Having them on a routine of naps, structured playtimes, etc. will help minimize the unnecessary distractions, and create an ordered environment in your home. The discipline and training of your children is important and shouldn't be seen as a distraction. Your academic progress will be of little value if you don't take the time to take care of their spiritual needs.

A Sweet Attitude:
It is important that you not enter into homeschooling naively. There are elements of stress and difficulty that will be part of your day. Attempting to homeschool, care for little ones and keep the house somewhat under control is a daunting task, but not an impossible one. The way you respond in those stressful times will set the tone for your home during the day. If you are irritable and impatient, sarcastic and unreasonable, your children will most likely respond with resentment and rebellion. If you are this way, there is hope in the Lord! Homeschooling may be the perfect intense sanctification booster you need!!! He is committed to making you more like Christ, and wants you to submit to and participate in this plan. Make it your daily prayer to have the same graciousness, gentleness, and loving forbearance toward your family that God extends to you moment by moment in Christ. Be known as a mother who is genuinely encouraging, a sweet servant, and excited about being an agent of grace in the life of your husband and children. Also, guard your lips against complaining to your husband at the end of the day. If homeschooling is the decision you and your husband have made, remember that you have a BIG God, and He has all the grace you need.

Keep It Simple:
Over the years we have seen the value of mainly focusing on the "3 R's" (reading, 'riting, and 'rithmetic) when our children were young. Once they are able to read, the scope of independent learning greatly expands, and they are able to investigate many things that Mom may not have time to take on. Also, as they grow older, our goal is to give them curriculum that is self-teaching, so they aren't so dependent on Mom to teach every lesson of every subject.

Persevere!
Anyone who wants to train their children to eat their vegetables doesn't give up after one try. In the same way, settling into a feasible homeschool routine will take time, flexibility, and hard work, especially with small children in the house. Continue to pray, get input, and ask questions of those who have walked the road ahead of you.

Practical Tips:
Regular naps: Little ones do require rest during the day. Training them to go down for a nap will help avoid having to deal with a cranky, inconsolable baby or toddler. Naptime will also provide some quiet focused time to work on more difficult subjects with your older children.

Scheduled play times: You can teach your little ones to play contentedly in their crib (or room with a gate) with a few well-chosen books and toys for 30-45 minutes. We started with 5-10 minutes and used a kitchen timer. They learned to wait for the "ding" and we slowly increased the time.

Book time: We did the same thing on the couch with a few favorite picture books.Snack time: Sometimes mid-morning when the older children would be around the kitchen table with their books, the baby would join us and enjoy some Cheerios in the high chair.

Older/younger partners: If you have older children, assign them to take turns having a playtime with the baby or toddler.

Quiet busy work: When we read a book aloud, we sometimes all gather around the table with drawing supplies ad coloring books for the younger ones. You will be amazed how much your younger ones will gain just by being around while the older ones are learning.

Start early: From our first year of homeschooling, when I had a kindergartner, a 3 yr. old, a 2 yr. old, and a newborn, I discovered that if I started our studies as early as possible, even with all the interruptions factored in, that we would usually accomplish a reasonable amount as the morning progressed. Being prepared the night before is important. I usually try to set bowls, spoons, and cups out before I go to bed. And I almost never cook on school days. Instead we usually have fruit, cereal, instant oatmeal, bagels, or muffins (made ahead of time). To make a big mess in the kitchen will delay getting on to our work.

Take breaks: Everyone is happier at our house when I alternate intense study time with activities that provide a break (and that even the little ones can participate in). For example a morning schedule may be: Math, English, quick clean up in bedrooms, spelling , read-aloud history, a walk outside, Bible time, Science, etc.

Recharge your heart: Post a favorite verse near your kitchen window or on your bathroom mirror to remind you of your source of help when the day begins to dissolve into conflict or chaos. My favorite is:

Hebrews 4:14-16:
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannnot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need.

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Goodbye, Summer

I always feel a bit sad when August winds down, and the busy preparations for the coming school year take the place of vacation days with no pressing schedule. I look back at the ambitious list of projects that I intended to do this summer, and laugh. The list remains undone, because more important things, like playing with my children and giving them a fun summer, took precedence. Oh, well.
One day my busy household will be quiet and the children will probably be grown and gone. I don't yearn for that day, though the days now can be tiring and long at times. But I am committed to enjoy this time now, as these days will pass, and can never be retrieved. Maybe then I will get the garage cleaned out. Who knows.

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Superhero???!! What??

I was sitting at my dining room table this morning, during a very stressful hour of our homeschool day, trying to have a sweet attitude and at the same time keep everyone working. It was one of those scenes that makes me sometimes look around for the hidden camera. On one knee was the 2 year old, snuggled against my neck with his thumb in his mouth, and understandably grumpy because of a fever. My 11 year old appeared with an English lesson, a distressed look on her face, and a plea for help, and took the other knee. She really had no choice, as both chairs on either side of me were already taken. On my right was my 6 year old who was slumped in his chair with the handwriting workbook before him that was to blame for wrecking a carefree day of Playmobile guys and make-believe battles. The chair to my left was occupied by my 9 year old, who was hurrying through her work with the hope that today was a computer day, and she would have the first turn.

In the back of my mind was the thought that my three teen-agers were somewhere upstairs with a list of assignments that were hopefully being accomplished. I would need to track them down and make sure, but that would have to wait for a few more minutes, because the needs in the dining room were great. The scene came to an exciting climax as one child swung the toddler's special blanket across the table to him, and in the process knocked over a large glass of water, soaking the books and papers collected there. We all jumped up in an uproar. I ran for a towel, and the responsible child ran out of the room crying!

At that moment, I suddenly had a flashback to a conversation last night with a friend about the stresses and challenges, yet blessings of homeschooling. She had jokingly called me a "superhero" for homeschooling all these kids for all these years. But here I stood in my dining room with water dripping off the table, and the furrowed brow/tight-lipped expression on my face proving that I was anything but a superhero! I wanted to run out of the room crying!

I hope the imagined hidden camera kept rolling, because the hour of stress ended. We all had lunch, the sick toddler went down for a nap, everyone finished their work and I even got to take a quick shower. But there were things of even greater significance that happened around here this week. Had my children been anywhere else, we would all have missed many blessings. There were glimpses here and there, as we went through our days together, of the work that God is doing in their hearts. I got to be around to see it, and to just enjoy time with my children.

There were so many opportunities to talk to them about the Lord. Woven in and around the stressful scenes, (and believe me, they are really less frequent than when I had 6 kids and the oldest was 9!) were many conversations that let me into their world. We talked of finding ultimate joy in Christ alone, about the connection between submission to parents now and submission to authorities later, and about the need to love one another.

There were times this week that I came face to face with my children's sin. It was not a pretty sight! But what a mercy that God exposes their sin, so that they can repent, and we can try to help them learn and grow. God also used my kids to show me a view of my own heart through different conflicts, as I fell to sins of pride, selfishness, and lack of love. It is very humbling to ask forgiveness of my children, but also very necessary. But God is gracious, and my children are forgiving.

We also learned some really interesting things together. I love to see their faces light up when they discover something new. Or see them finally obey and complete an assignment, even though they have no interest in it, and didn't enjoy it. I'll take that as a blessing!

So, when I put the challenges, irritations, and tiring work on one side of the scale, and the joys of all God is doing in the lives of my children on the other side, the latter far outweighs the former! These fleeting days with my children will soon be passed, and no sacrifice is too great while I still have the opportunity. What a privileged position it is to be a mom!

It's been a good day.

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