21 years ago, I was a brand new mom. When I think back on those early days, there is one particular scene that always comes to mind. It was late December 1989, and I was buckling into our little two-door Mazda as my husband started the car and prepared to drive us home from the hospital with our new baby girl.
The 6 preceding days were crazy with me delivering my baby two days after Christmas as a typhoon threatened the tiny Pacific island where we lived. Then our daughter had jaundice, and had to be kept in the hospital for a few extra days. I was physically worn out and emotional, sleep-deprived and sore. Spiritually, I was fearful, anxious, and weak. As the weight of the responsibility of keeping that little person alive and well-cared-for settled on my shoulders, I felt completely overwhelmed. So my husband drove and I cried all the way home! “Would I really be able to do this?” But as the tears streamed down my face, I cried out to the Lord and asked Him to give me strength to finish the day, face the long night ahead, and trust Him for the strength to meet the next day.
So that was my first week as a mom, and I saw right away that I didn’t have the adequate strength in myself for such a daunting task. In fact with every baby that was added to our family over the years, (we have been blessed with 8!) I became even more aware that my resources were not enough. But I learned that I had a great God, and that the strength He would supply to live the life He had called me to live was more than enough. It was abundant! One of the greatest things about having children is that it has given me a more realistic picture of my own weaknesses and the limits of my own strength, so that I will learn to depend on God and His strength alone.
Now, when I put my weakness side by side with what God calls me to be and do, I am driven to the Word for instruction and help. Over the years, I have been so thankful for Proverbs 31. Listen to this wonderful verse that describes the woman that I want to be. Verse 25 says, "Strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future." Proverbs 31:25
Strength here is talking about strength of character. When we say someone is strong, we mean they have power, appropriate force, or the necessary vigor to accomplish something. We may also mean firmness or courage. And one aspect of strength refers to the power to resist force, strain, or wear.
As we have already established, being a useful servant of the Lord requires strength that is beyond our natural abilities. I'm so thankful that when the Lord says, "Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might" he is not only commanding us to act, but is providing us with the resource with which we are empowered. It is his strength that he loves to give to his children to carry out his will each day. We are never on our own to muster up the drive or power to obey him or be useful in the lives of others on his behalf.
Paul prayed that the Colossians would be "strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might." (Col.1:10, 11) When we are plugged in to that kind of inexhaustible power source, we can be sure that we will have the strength to do what our heavenly Father calls us to do. And we can never stop being thankful that when Christ caused our hearts to be born again, we were freed from the power of sin over us, and were given immediate access to God’s great strength on our behalf. This is His command, made possible by His provision, and it becomes the distinguishing characteristic of a godly woman. Eph. 6:10 says “Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might,” and goes on to show us that clothing ourselves with strength means wearing the armor He provides.
That next characteristic, dignity probably should be taken as meaning "honor" in this context, and it describes a quality of character that people praise or respect. She is noble and worthy of the high opinion people have of her. To say that strength and dignity are her clothing means that she shows those qualities in her life. When people look at her life, this is what they notice. Another way to say this is simply "She is strong and respected."
How did she gain this reputation? She became known as strong and worthy of respect because of intentional acts and deliberate choices that she made. Her deeds have formed a reputation for her. Her actions show outwardly who she is on the inside. When her husband and children rise up to bless her it is because of what she has done. (Prov. 31:11, 12 and 31:28, 29) “The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."
This woman is not only strong and esteemed highly by others because of the life she has lived, but she smiles at the future. Some versions read "she laughs at the time to come". This means two things. First, she is not afraid. She only fears the Lord, and rests in His sovereign control of everything. Daily she is coaching her heart to trust in the One who ordains each event in her day for her good and His glory. (Rom. 8:28) She can say with the Psalmist in 56:9-11: “God is for me.”
John Piper says, "Most people are anxious about the future. She laughs at the future. She looks in future's face with boldness and says, "You think you can terrify me? You think you can dangle all your terrors in front of me and all the sicknesses and all the calamities and all the enemies and all the miseries and all the losses and all the heartaches that the future holds and make me cower in the corner of life like a mouse on the kitchen floor? No, strength and dignity are my clothing, and I laugh at your threats."
"In other words, women, dream of being so confident in God, and who you are in God as the daughter of the king of the universe, and what he has done for you and promises to do for you and be for you in Jesus Christ, that you fear nothing but God and laugh at the time to come- no matter what it holds."
Not only is she unafraid, but she actually welcomes the future. It is also like saying that she "happily looks forward to" what is coming. She is like young David, who didn't shrink back because of his size and the threats of Goliath, but ran forward to meet the giant, confident that His God was bigger than the enemy on the battlefield.
So, a godly mother is ready to act. She sees the future coming and greets it with confidence and boldness for her Lord. She knows that it may be costly, but she is ready to sacrifice and serve. She embraces the words of 1 Peter 3:5-6: "In former times the holy women also . . . hoped in God . . . and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear."
This little verse gives me such hope and help in what I face each day as the mother to a houseful of children. Yes, there are moments that I still feel overwhelmed, but when I fix my eyes on my Savior and the strength that He abundantly provides to obey Him and be useful to Him each day, I am excited! I have a great God! He is going to strengthen me with His mighty power to be the godly wife and mother that my husband and children need. He is going to help me daily choose to do the deeds of love and righteousness that will make me, by His grace, a testimony of obedience. Even on the days that I may feel like a failure, I know that even faltering obedience will glorify Him! As I keep striving to depend on His strength, I can face the future with confidence, unafraid and ready to be used by the Lord. And at the end of the day, He gets all the glory, because it was all His work.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
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