Gospel Powered Parenting

A friend and I have been reading a book together by William Farley called Gospel Powered Parenting. In his first chapter, Intellectual Submarines, Farley discusses the unseen assumptions that cruise just below the surface of our lives but drive how we think and act.

He says that godly parents operate from the following 5 assumptions as they face the task of raising children.

1. Parenting is not easy. We cannot be perfect parents. "Precisely because we are so flawed, the gospel, the saving work of Christ, must be your refuge." (p. 20)

2. God is sovereign, but He uses means. God is completely in control of salvation, but He loves to use parents to bring salvation to their children. We are utterly dependent and responsible at the same time.

3. A good offense is better than defense. We must focus on preparing our children to enter the world and conquer it through saving faith in Jesus Christ, not merely protecting them from it. We must show our children through our lives and teach them through our words that Christ is more glorious and satisfying than anything here.

"We aimed all our arrows at our children's hearts, knowing that once their hearts had been changed, the decisive battle was fought and won." (p. 26) This is what the new birth is all about.

4. Understand the new birth. If our children have only adopted a religious, moralistic, works-righteousness philosophy, they will be no different from the world. Only when they are born again will they follow Christ and his word. "New birth is a radical change of heart that ushers in new desires, new loves, and a new life direction." (p. 28)

5. Effective parents are not child centered. They strive instead to put God at the center of their family. Having a God-centered family means saying no to kids when it is in their best interest, husband and wife are united before their kids, marriage is a higher priority than kids, and there is a willingness to be different from the world.

After almost 22 years of trying by God's grace (though as flawed sinners) to follow these 5 principles, I can say "Amen" to everything he said in this chapter! God has been moving us more and more over the years to cast all our hope for our children on Christ and His transforming work in their hearts. I feel deeply the responsibility I have to do everything possible to give them the Word as much as possible, live it out before them in a gracious, humble way, and pray for God to save and sanctify them. Ultimately though, it is all up to Him, and I am astounded and humbled to know that He wants to use me. WOW!

I hope you will pick up this book and catch a vision for the wonderful work God desires to do in you and in the lives of your children.