In The Valley

I have been listening to Sovereign Grace's cd called Valley of Vision, a collection of songs inspired by the Puritan book of prayers called The Valley of Vision. It is so encouraging that I had to share the words to the first song.

In the Valley
When You lead me to the valley of vision
I can see You in the heights
And though my humbling wouldn't be my decision
It's here Your glory shines so bright
So let me learn that the cross precedes the crown
To be low is to be high
That the valley's where You make me more like Christ
Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find Your life in my death
Let me find your joy in my sorrowYour wealth in my need
That You're near with every breath
In the valley

In the daytime there are stars in the heavens
But they only shine at night
And the deeper that I go into darkness
The more I see their radiant light
So let me learn that my loses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley's where Your power is revealed

(Copyright Sovereign Grace Music )
Click the link below if you would like to take a listen to this song.The words are even better set to music. Very meditative... http://www.sovereigngracemusic.org/albums/category/sovereign_grace_music/valley_of_vision

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Powered by His Might

I am very blessed to live in a house with eight children. So I know firsthand that more children means more joys and trials, more fun and conflict, extra work and play, exhilaration and exhaustion, and a greater need for PRAYER!

I love the example of Paul as he prayed for his friends, the Colossians. In Col. 1:9-12 he asks God to fill them with the knowledge of His will so that they would walk in a manner worthy of the Lord. He lists five components of a worth walk:

1. to please the Lord in all respects,
2. to bear fruit in every good work
3. to increase in the knowledge of God
4. to be strengthened with the power of His glorious might
5. and to joyously give thanks to the Father.

From a human perspective those five elements are impossible for us to attain. As a mom, I know that it is easy many days to focus on how great the task is and how small our strength is. But notice that the strength to strive for a worthy walk is powered out of His glorious might. Isaiah 40:28 says that “The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired.” And in v. 31 He promises that “those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength.”

A woman who is striving to walk before the Lord in this worthy way, empowered by His strength and might, is a woman who will be a great blessing to her family. Her husband will have a refuge from the troubles of this world in her love, and her children will find in her a resource of truth, wisdom, and encouragement. I love to pray this for my friends who are also mothers, and I would love for you to pray this for me as well!

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Remember, Respond, and Rejoice!

Recently, a good friend of mine delivered her seventh baby. Seeing her with a new baby boy in her arms caused me to reminisce about what my life was like when our 7th child was born.

My oldest daughter was 11, and of course all the others went down like stair steps from there, ages 9, 8, 6, 4, 2, and then our little newborn baby boy. It was in those years of little children, their constant needs, the constant work that was necessary to meet their needs, the noise, the energy, the fun, the crying and the laughter, that the phrase HAPPY CHAOS was coined. In fact, I used to joke with my husband that my job would be a little easier if I were an octopus! Then I would have an arm for each kid, plus one left over to cook, clean, and help him!

In those busy days, I found that I could easily get distracted, and lose my focus. There had to be an over-arching goal of what God was calling me to do with my life, and if I didn’t focus my mind on that I could get bogged down in the overwhelming work load and forget that this was about way more than just fulfilling the day to day duties of being a busy mom.

For believers that driving purpose for existence is to know and love Jesus Christ, and to give our lives away so that others will come to do the same.

Three little words helped me in those busy days to keep a focused mind and to keep the happy chaos moving in the right direction. I needed to remind myself of these truths often so that I wouldn't get lost in the chaos and forget the big picture of what Christ had done for me, and what He wanted to do through me.

1. REMEMBER…. Christ has saved you!Whoever you are and whatever you do all day, if you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, then this is your starting point every morning. Never lose sight of the wondrous mercy that God has shown you in the sacrifice of His Son. You are finally alive! You, like all of us, were once spiritually dead, you walked in darkness, willingly enslaved to sin as an enemy of God, and existing to carry out Satan’s agenda and your own ungodly desires. Whether in smug self-righteousness or openly fulfilling the lusts of the flesh, we all lived with the wrath of God hanging over our heads. We could not come to God, and we strongly preferred not to anyway, because we loved our darkness too much. These phrases are how the Scriptures describe us: lost and sinful and dead to God.But then an amazing, wonderful, undeserved, and unexpected thing happened to you.“While you were yet sinners, Christ died for you!”

The wise, loving, sovereign God sent His Son to suffer your punishment on a cross so that you could be clothed with the righteousness of Christ

In his book, Finally Alive, John Piper describes our release from our spiritual deadness. I love this quote because it paints such a vivid picture of our captivity to/and love of sin, and then how all that changes when we are awakened to truth and Christ.

P. 58: "God grants repentance-- that is, he awakens the life that sees the ugliness and danger of sin and the beauty and worth of Christ. That truth sets the prisoner free. It's what happens when a person in the dark fondles an ebony brooch hanging around his neck, and then the lights go on and he sees it's not a brooch but a cockroach, and flings it away. That's how people are set free from the devil. And until God does that miracle of new birth, we stay in bondage to the father of lies because we love to be able to tell ourselves whatever we please. We keep fondling smooth roaches and warm fuzzy tarantulas in the dark."

Being a mother that honors God, and keeping the right focus, doesn’t start with parenting "how to’s". It starts with remembering that you once were dead, but God who is rich in mercy has made you alive together with Christ. Remembering this good news is the starting point for every day that we are alive, because it changes everything: your values, your direction, and your purpose on this earth.

CJ Mahaney says, “Love the Gospel. Never leave it. Never stop being awed by the mercy of God displayed to you in Christ.”

2. RESPOND….Christ has a job for you!2 Cor. 5:15 says “and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for HIM who died and rose again on their behalf.”

How do we live for Him?
By exalting Christ and proclaiming His Gospel to our children during the short time that we have them with us.This may seem like an obvious statement, but I can testify to the fact that a concerted effort must be made daily to see that this happens. Every child has needs, and the more children, the more needs and we must focus our minds to make sure that we make the important things happen each day. Also, there are stresses, conflicts, resistance, disappointments, and each of those things can cause us to forget that we are here to live for Him.

Living for Him involves EXALTING CHRIST. In Phil. 1:20-21, Paul expresses his great desire that Christ be exalted.Everyday we make decisions that either exalt the Lord that we say we follow or contradict our confession before our children. Many opportunities arise each day where we choose to show that we love Christ, that we are committed to doing His will, that we long to obey His word, that we want to imitate Him, and that we love the things that He loves. Christ is exalted by our obedient conduct, and our children are watching. Paul said that whether he lived or died, no matter what happened, he wanted His life to exalt the name of Jesus.

Living for Christ means PROCLAIMING HIS GOSPEL: Paul says in Colossians 1:28,29 that his goal was to teach and admonish others with the result that they would be presented complete in Christ one day.
In the same way, we must make the effort to speak to our children about the Lord. Not only through our actions, but we have a responsibility to teach, exhort, encourage, rebuke, convince, and persuade, our children of the truths of the Gospel. There are many opportunities, but without a focused mind to this goal, we can rush through the busy day and miss them. There are many things against us when we set out to do this, but dependent on the grace of Christ, we must keep striving toward this goal. Christ promises to bless his word and cause it to bear fruit. We must labor for this, always praying to the God who loves sinners, delights to transform hearts, and beg Him to save and sanctify our children.

And finally,
3. REJOICE! Christ is all you need! One of the best pieces of advice that I was ever given was this:“Don’t let anything steal your joy!”

It was Brian who exhorted me with those words, and he said them to me when I was discouraged and worn out by a conflict that had lasted for many days with one of my children. He reminded me that my joy should be so securely anchored in Christ alone, that I could be at peace in Him no matter what happened. If everything else that I valued were stripped away, He would still be enough.Having Him was more important that even the good things that I longed to see in the lives of my children.

As Piper says, “Jesus should be our greatest treasure.” The apostle Paul counted everything as a loss in comparison to knowing Jesus.Even in resistance, fatigue, trials, hard work, and little rest, we will find in Jesus Christ alone the deep satisfaction and fulfillment that will allow us to say, “He is enough. I need nothing else in this world to be happy.”
These three truths still drive my every day, as the happy chaos continues! God is good!

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Joy!

One of the greatest tools that the Christian has for evangelism is joy.

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Gleanings From Ruth

"Behind every bitter providence is a smiling heavenly Father that is working to bring about your good and His glory."
The entire book of Ruth pictures this truth so well. It is the story of a Hebrew woman, Naomi, who had suffered through famine, living in a foreign land, losing her husband, her sons' marriages to Moabite wives, their ten years of barrenness (no grand children), and then the deaths of both of her sons. Naomi had left her homeland "full, but the Lord has brought me back empty!" as she explained to her relatives and friends when she returned to the land of Judah. "The Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me!" She felt as if she was filled only with the sorrows of life, but the rest of the book unfolds the wonderful workings of God on her behalf, as He showed her that He was not finished with her!

In all her bitter tragedies, Naomi failed to see the glimmers of God's mercy that were springing up all around her. She and her family had left Judah in the first place because of a famine, and had gone to Moab because there was food there. But now the Lord had ended the famine in Judah, and she returns just as the barley harvest was beginning. And she wasn't really empty or alone after all. God had given her a daughter-in-law (Ruth) who was fiercely committed to staying by Naomi's side, vowing that the only thing that could pry her away was death itself. Beyond that, God's mercy glimmers again in the amazing conversion of Ruth who wasn't just following Naomi, but had more importantly embraced the one true God and was following Him.

All of these things had not "just happened", but were clearly God's hand at work. There's more... the Lord provides food for these two lonely widows, and a relative who, according to the custom of the Hebrews could still redeem the family land, and with Ruth (an available widow) thrown into the equation, could raise up another generation to carry on the family name. Boaz, the kinsman redeemer, wasn't just anybody, but was a godly man, and a rich one to boot! These amazing proofs of God's answer to their needs turns Naomi's bitter heart, and she finally confesses that "..the Lord...has not withdrawn his kindness to the living and to the dead."

Of course, God's plans are always way bigger than just deliverance from our trials, painful though they may be. Woven through the tragedies of this one Hebrew family, God was bringing forth the long-awaited Messiah, in whom all the families of the earth would be blessed! The union of Boaz and Ruth produced Obed, then Jesse, then King David, whose throne would forever be established through his descendent, the Lord Jesus Christ! The seemingly insignificant lives of Naomi, Ruth, and Boaz were being orchestrated in an amazing way to bring God glory and carry out His great plan. They probably didn't have an inkling of the great importance of each providential event that God arranged.

How grateful we should be that the Lord never abandons His children. How humbled we should be that the majestic Creator who sits enthroned above the heavens stoops to hear the cries of his discouraged and hurting people. How hopeful we should continue to be, even in the darkest trials! Our God is not finished, but will bring comfort and deliverance, and His plan for redeeming sinful man will go forth to completion!

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Encouraging Loving Sibling Relationships

Of all the friends your children could make in their childhood years, deep, loving relationships with their own brothers and sisters is crucial to family unity. The family, as God designed it, with only reach it's full potential when all the members love God and one another. So, how can you encourage your children to cultivate their "best friends"among their own siblings?

1. First of all, determine to love all of your children equally. Parents who show partiality to one child over another will cause their children to be jealous and resentful of one another. There will be times when one child may be at a more challenging phase of discipline and growth than another. But the wise parent will resist the temptation to draw a comparison between the two. Be careful what you say about your children to them and to other people.

2. Teach your children to show love to their siblings with the words they use. There is no place among brothers and sisters for name-calling and insults. Instead, Christian parents should help their children learn how to say words that will encourage and build up. Hold them to the standard of Ephesians 4:29 that says, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear." Children must also be taught to use appropriate tone of voice, one that is kind and gracious and will not heighten a conflict. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)

3. Help your children practice acts of love to one another. It has been said that actions speak louder than words, and there is no better way to prove loving words than by loving deeds. This can start with a toddler being encouraged to share his crackers with his big brother, or an older child giving a turn with a game or special toy to a younger sibling. Coach your children in the art of giving cards and handmade gifts to one another on birthdays and other special occasions, or just because. Teach them to govern their actions by Matthew 7:12, "however you want people to treat you, so treat them." Children will remember how they were treated by their brothers and sisters. Help them build memories together of loving words and actions.

4. Teach your children how to resolve conflict. While it may come natural to your children to respond to conflict by pouting, yelling, or revenge, these ways are not God's ways. Instead take your children to the Scriptures to learn Biblical conflict resolution. Practicing these 4 steps will help children be at peace rather than at odds.
1. When sinned against, go to your brother and privately reprove him. (Matt. 18:15)
2. When you have sinned, confess your sins to one another. (James 5:16)
3. Forgive one another. (Matt. 6:14)
4. Be humble and unselfishness. (Phil. 2:3,4)

5. Help your children to honor one another by respecting the property of others. Some simple standards like asking permission before borrowing or using something will help minimize conflict among siblings. Be sensitive to an older child who is reluctant to hand over his fragile or special possession to a toddler who has a reputation for destruction.

6. Finally, encourage physical affection. One of the sweetest things you will see in your home will be children showing their love with hugs and kisses! This should be modeled before them, and sometimes they will need to be coached along to show affection.

Now, I wish that after almost 20 years of trying to teach my children to love each other that I could say that they have it all down! Unfortunately, though, they are sinners like their mother, and loving others is a lifelong pursuit. So we fail and repent and ask forgiveness, and pray for God's grace to motivate us to love others like He has loved us. It has given me many opportunities over the years to talk to them of their need of Christ's work in their hearts. So, as I see my children growing up and becoming close friends, I thank God for what He has done.

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Dealing with Anger

Every mom feels the rub of dealing with children who are choosing to be disobedient, rebellious, ungrateful, and irritating. It is compounded, of course, as many of us have come to painfully realize, by our own sinful, angry responses. A family is just a houseful of sinners, and for the Christian family, they are trying to live together in love to the glory of God. But, learning how to love unconditionally is not easy. It requires a humble, teachable, and repentant heart. It is definitely a growing process, and God uses this crucible of sanctification to make you more like Christ. We have to always set that before us as the goal: to be more like Christ, and to glorify Him in the choices we make for obedience as we go throughout our days. I think God uses children to show us the true condition of our hearts, and I can tell you from my own experience, it is humbling. God greatly desires to exalt the humble, but warns us that He will personally oppose the proud. So humility is a great place to find ourselves.

If I have been helped in my temptation toward anger over the years, it has been by focusing on three facts:

1. I deserve nothing but God's wrath. Most of my anger came because deep down, I didn't think I deserved the treatment that my children gave me. Actually I deserved much worse!

2. Christ died to save me when I was His enemy. I fought against Him, ignored Him, didn't thank Him for the millions of ways that He blessed me each day, and failed to worship Him as He deserved. Yet He loved me to the greatest degree.

3. If He can love and forgive me, then I can serve Him by loving and forgiving others, especially my children. Maybe that's why I love the story of the unforgiving servant so much. It pictures my heart when I am angry and unforgiving, and I don't want to be that way and disregard the loving sacrifice that the Lord has made for me. "She who has been forgiven much loves much".

God is so faithful. He never abandons His children though they struggle and fail in this area. His mercies are new each morning, and He promises grace to face each challenge that you will encounter in each new day. I like to think to myself on the morning of a new day: "God is on His throne, you are still alive, and there is always hope in Christ!" I also like to remind myself that the word "training" by definition implies practicing over and over against resistance. We are trying to train ourselves in the discipline of godliness, and our flesh resists!!! We are trying to train our children, and their sinfulness and childishness offers great resistance. But God is greater than this resistance, and he will help us overcome! "Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world." I think when all of our children were little I was at times caught off guard by how hard it seemed. But I learned to say, "That is just the way it is, and I will still choose, by God's enabling grace to love them and obey God."

If I could encourage you to do anything, it would be to enjoy your children! When they are difficult that may seem impossible. But it is a choice that has to be made, and in making it, you will be loving in a truly unconditional way. Our enjoyment of them doesn't have to be dependent on how they act. It can come from a heart of compassion that remembers that they are not our enemy. The real enemy of our souls would love to steal these days from you and have you set patterns now in your responses that will wreak havoc in your relationships, and make it harder later on to change. Ask God to help you to smile at your children, speak gently to them, give them the needed discipline, then hug and kiss them. Chase them down and tickle them, look into their eyes, tell them all day that you love them, and develop a thick skin if necessary so that you can get over the little assaults quickly and go back to being sweet....whether they deserve it or not.

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